@Begin
@Participants:	JPN001
@Age:	20
@Sex:	F
@YearInSchool:	U2
@Major:	law
@StudyHistory:	8
@OtherLanguage:	Chinese=1;none=
@Qualification:	STEP=2(2001);none=;none=
@Abroad:	none=;none=
@Reading:	3
@Writing:	2
@Listening:	1
@Speaking:	1
@JapaneseEssay:	2
@EnglishEssay:	2
@Difficulty:	5
@Topic:	death penalty
@TWE:	3;3;3
@Comments:	
@Coder:	2005-12-21 DataInputBy SAKAUE Tatsuya;
@Version:	2.0
*JPN001:	Does death penalty really need?
%NTV:	Is the death penalty really necessary?
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN001:	Does death penalty really need?
%NTV:	Is the death penalty really necessary?
%COM:	
*JPN001:	I often hear that death penalty is reasonable for people whose family member or friend is killed by someone.
%NTV:	People often say that the death penalty is reasonable in the eyes of people whose family members or friends have been killed by someone.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	On the other hand, I also hear that even if a person is murderer, it is against moral standard to kill him or her in the name of justice.
%NTV:	On the other hand, others say that even if a person is murderer, it is against moral standards to kill him or her in the name of justice.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	Those opinions also insist that it is dangerous to let government punish us so much.
%NTV:	They also insist that it is dangerous to let the government punish us so [much/severely?].
%COM:	
*JPN001:	So, there is some doubt that death penalty is being in many countries now.
%NTV:	Thus, there is doubt in many countries that the death penalty should be used.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN001:	I think it is natural that people whose family member or friend is killed by someone want the murderer to be killed by government.
%NTV:	I think it is natural that people whose family members or friends have been killed by someone want the murderer to be killed by the government.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	It is severe that though their important person is dead, the murderer is alive even if he or she in jail.
%NTV:	It is hard for the victims' family and friends that even though a person important to them is dead, the murderer is alive even if he or she is in jail.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	Moreover, the cost to keep prisoner living, for example, food or clothes expensive, is covered with tax we pay.
%NTV:	Moreover, our taxes cover the cost to keep the prisoner living, for example, expenses for food or clothes.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	If a prisoner must stay in jail so long time, until the prisoner die, it is reasonable to kill the prisoner in short time.
%NTV:	Killing the prisoner quickly seems reasonable if he or she must stay in jail for a life term.
%COM:	You might want to say, "Killing the prisoner quickly seems reasonable from a financial perspective if he or she must stay in jail for a life term."
*JPN001:	Therefore, it is not anti-logical opinion that death penalty needs and must-done to a person who kill someone.
%NTV:	Therefore, saying that the death penalty is necessary and must be used on a person who has killed another is not illogical.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN001:	However, opinions saying that death penalty is against moral standard is also has a point.
%NTV:	However, the point that the death penalty is against moral standards is also worth thinking about.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	It is accepted to almost everyone that killing is not right and we are never allowed to.
%NTV:	Almost everyone accepts the idea that killing is not right and that we must not do it.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	There are so many reasons for this.
%NTV:	So many reasons support this.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	To take an example, killing is against moral standard.
%NTV:	To take an example of killing being against moral standards,
%COM:	I recommend connecting this sentence with the following one or CUTTING it altogether. Alone, this sentence adds nothing because this idea has already been expressed.
*JPN001:	I often hear that an adult is surprised at children asking that the reason why human beings must not kill other human beings.
%NTV:	I [often hear/have heard?] adults expressing surprise at children asking why human beings must not kill other human beings.
%COM:	It seems implausible that you would often hear this. "Have heard" might be more accurate.
*JPN001:	To us in common sense, it is never changed by anything.
%NTV:	To us, this moral standard is common sense and is never changed by anything.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN001:	Moreover, it is true that letting government kill people in the name of punishment is dangerous.
%NTV:	Moreover, it is true that letting the government kill people in the name of punishment is dangerous.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	In those days, a king devoured profits and abuse his subjects.
%NTV:	In history, kings have devoured profits and abused their subjects.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	The subject had no power to resist the king.
%NTV:	The subjects had no power to resist the king.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	Therefore, many people died of hunger or sickness and were killed because of king having his own way.
%NTV:	Therefore, many people died of hunger or sickness and were killed [not for punishment, but?] because of the king having his own way.
%COM:	I recommend using the part in brackets above to clarify your meaning.
*JPN001:	Now, most countries have a government elected by people of the country and people have freedom to choice any party.
%NTV:	Now, most countries have a government elected by people of the country and the people have the freedom to choose any party.
%COM:	Rather than "most," "many" might be more accurate.
*JPN001:	However, it is dangerous to stop keeping an eye on government and we should always doubt it not to repeat severe history.
%NTV:	However, it would be dangerous to stop keeping an eye on government; we should remain vigilant so as not to repeat the mistakes of history.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN001:	Does death penalty really need?
%NTV:	Is the death penalty really necessary?
%COM:	
*JPN001:	Some people say that "yes".
%NTV:	Some people say, "yes".
%COM:	
*JPN001:	On the other hand, others say "no".
%NTV:	Others say, "no".
%COM:	I would recommend combining the above two sentences: "Some people say, "yes," while others say, "no"."
*JPN001:	Which answer is correct?
%NTV:	OK
%COM:	
*JPN001:	I think the latter is correct.
%NTV:	OK
%COM:	
*JPN001:	The reason is that government should not kill people in the name of justice.
%NTV:	The reason is that the government should not kill people in the name of justice.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	If people can not kill others, government also can not kill people.
%NTV:	If people must not kill others, the government also must not kill people.
%COM:	
*JPN001:	It is moral standard and we live in the flame of it.
%NTV:	NU
%COM:	The use of "flame" is confusing. Here is my best guess: This is a moral standard and we will have to live with the problems caused by transgressing it.
@End
