@Begin
@Participants:	JPN002
@Age:	20
@Sex:	M
@YearInSchool:	U1
@Major:	medicine
@StudyHistory:	8
@OtherLanguage:	Spanish=0.6;none=
@Qualification:	TOEIC=620(2005);none=;none=
@Abroad:	none=;none=
@Reading:	2
@Writing:	1
@Listening:	1
@Speaking:	1
@JapaneseEssay:	3
@EnglishEssay:	3
@Difficulty:	4
@Topic:	school education
@TWE:	3;3;3
@Comments:	
@Coder:	2005-12-21 DataInputBy SAKAUE Tatsuya;
@Version:	2.0
*JPN002:	THE JAPANESE SCHOOL EDUCATION
%NTV:	The Japanese education system
%COM:	A more descriptive title would be better. How about something like "Problems will [worsen/continue] without a return to the old Japanese education system" or "Current Japanese education system doesn't measure up"?
%par:
*JPN002:	In Japan, education system is changing fast now.
%NTV:	In Japan, the education system is changing fast.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	The content of education is reduced and students come to have free time more.
%NTV:	The content of material taught has reduced and students have come to have more free time.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	Furthermore, 'total education time' is taken in all Japanese junior high school.
%NTV:	Furthermore, 'total education time' is now given in all junior high schools.
%COM:	"Total education time" is a direct translation of "sogotekina gakushu," but the term in English sounds vague. You may want to include examples for a better explanation.
*JPN002:	I think this change is bad and Japanese government must change it to original form rapidly for the following reasons.
%NTV:	I think these changes are for the worse and the Japanese government must return rapidly to the previous system for several reasons.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN002:	Firstly, many young people this time cannot read or write basic words (Japanese 'kanji.')
%NTV:	First, many young people at this time cannot read or write basic words in Japanese 'kanji.'
%COM:	
*JPN002:	And, they cannot calculate, too.
%NTV:	They also have trouble doing [basic?] calculations.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	These things are need in daily life, even if they don't go to college or university.
%NTV:	These things will be needed in daily life even if they do not go to college or university.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	Originally, Japanese student got better score in reading and calculation than any other country's student few decades ago.
%NTV:	Japanese students were scoring better a few decades ago in reading and calculation than those in any other country.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	For, reading, writing, and calculation were very important in Japanese society.
%NTV:	These high scores were due to the importance Japanese society placed on reading, writing, and calculation.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	Now, however, this good value in old Japan is being reduced.
%NTV:	Now, however, this good value from old Japan is declining.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	This is very large problem in Japan.
%NTV:	This is a very large problem in Japan.
%COM:	
%par:
*JPN002:	Secondly, there is deep gap between the level of high school education and university education.
%NTV:	Second, there is a wide gap between the levels of high school and university education.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	Many students who don't learn the content of high school education cannot catch up with the class in universities.
%NTV:	Many students who do not learn the content of high school education cannot catch up with the classes in universities.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	Furthermore, for example, I am medical student, but I don't learn biology in high school.
%NTV:	For example, although I am a medical student, I did not learn biology in high school.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	And there are many students like me.
%NTV:	Many students are like me.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	In addition, the care of university to us is nearly nothing.
%NTV:	In addition, universities care nearly nothing for their students.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	So, the level of the study in technology, medicine and so is going down.
%NTV:	Therefore, the levels of study in such fields as technology and medicine are decreasing.
%COM:	I would recommend joining this sentence with the one before it: In addition, universities care nearly nothing for their students, so the levels of study...
*JPN002:	This is very large problem in Japan, too.
%NTV:	This is a very large problem in Japan.
%COM:	Unless you want to explain why this is a very large problem in Japan, this sentence does little to strengthen your argument.
%par:
*JPN002:	Thirdly, as the content of school education is reduced, at the same time, the curiosity of students seems reduced.
%NTV:	Third, as the material taught at school is reduced, students' curiosity seems to be declining.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	The new idea and new device are coming from the curiosity, I think.
%NTV:	New ideas and devices come from curiosity.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	So, the reduction of it means the down of possibility that the evolutional change in various field will happen.
%NTV:	Thus, reducing education materials means decreasing the possibility for evolution in various fields.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	This is very large problem in Japan.
%NTV:	This is also a very large problem in Japan.
%COM:	Again, I this sentence doesn't really add anything unless you explain why this is a large problem. You can't assume that the reader will automatically understand, for example, that Japan falling behind in technological innovation could cause economic problems, unemployment, and even social problems.
%par:
*JPN002:	In conclusion, there are problems like these in Japan, because of the reduction of basic education.
%NTV:	In conclusion, reducing basic education has caused serious problems in Japan.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	Luckily, the Japanese government is planning to change the education system.
%NTV:	Fortunately, the Japanese government is planning to change the education system.
%COM:	
*JPN002:	I hope this change will be going back to old Japanese school education system.
%NTV:	I hope that this change will be a return to the old Japanese education system.
%COM:	
@End
