{{pre @Begin @Participants: JPN501 @PID: PIDJP501 @Age: 21 @Sex: F @YearInSchool: U2 @Major: agriculture @StudyHistory: 8 @OtherLanguage: Chinese=1.0;none= @Qualification: TOEIC=590(2013);none=;none= @Abroad: none=;none= @Reading: 3 @Writing: 2 @Listening: 2 @Speaking: 1 @JapaneseEssay: 4 @EnglishEssayEx: 3 @EnglishEssay: 2 @Difficulty: @EssayTraining: 3 @SelfEval: 2 @TopicEase: 4 @Topic: sports @Criterion: 4 @Proctor: 1 @Comments: @Date: 2013-12-17 @Version: 1.3.1 *JPN501: What kind of sports do you like? %NTV: OK %COM: *JPN501: Do you like soccer, base ball or swimming? %NTV: Do you like soccer, baseball, or swimming? %COM: "Baseball" is one word. In lists with three or more items, put a comma between each item, including one before the final "and". *JPN501: There are many and variety sports around the world. %NTV: There are many varieties of sports around the world. %COM: *JPN501: A country has some traditional sports. %NTV: Most countries have some traditional sports. %COM: *JPN501: Of course, there are some traditional sports in Japan. %NTV: OK %COM: *JPN501: They are called "BUDO". %NTV: They are called budo. %COM: This word does not require capitalization. *JPN501: BUDO are JYUDO, KENDO, KYUDO and so on. %NTV: Budo include judo, kendo, kyudo, and so on. %COM: These words do not require capitalization. *JPN501: If you play BUDO, there is an important thing that you must remember. %NTV: If you play budo, there is one important thing you must remember. %COM: *JPN501: It is "REI". %NTV: It is rei. %COM: %par: *JPN501: First, "REI" is the feeling that you thank people who are involved in the game. %NTV: First, rei is the custom of thanking people who are involved in the game. %COM: It seems that "rei" is describing an action here, so it would be a "custom" rather than a "feeling". *JPN501: For example, when the game will start, players bow each other. %NTV: For example, when the game starts, players bow to each other. %COM: *JPN501: and when the game ended, players bow each other, too. %NTV: When the game ends, players bow to each other, too. %COM: *JPN501: Players cannot play a game without an enemy. %NTV: OK %COM: *JPN501: This is the expression that players thank each other for playing the game. %NTV: This is the expression by which players thank each other for playing the game. %COM: %par: *JPN501: Secondly, "REI" is the feeling that you thank the place where you play the game. %NTV: Second, rei is the custom of thanking the place where you play the game. %COM: The "-ly" ending is old-fashioned -- just say "first", "second", etc. *JPN501: BUDO players must bow when they enter the BUDOJYO (the playing place) and when they leave there. %NTV: Budo players must bow when they enter the budojyo (playing place) and when they leave. %COM: *JPN501: And you must clean the BUDOJYO because you thank the BUDOJYO for playing there. %NTV: Players must also clean the budojyo as thanks for playing there. %COM: Avoid starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions ("and" here). %par: *JPN501: Finally, "REI" is the feeling that you thank yourself. %NTV: Finally, rei is the custom of thanking yourself. %COM: *JPN501: In BUDO, you think about yourself deeply. %NTV: In budo, you think about yourself deeply. %COM: *JPN501: For example, in soccer, players have many team mates. %NTV: For example, in soccer, players have many teammates. %COM: *JPN501: But many BUDO have no team mate, you must play with yourself. %NTV: However, many budo have no teammate; instead, you must play against yourself. %COM: Avoid starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions. You can change "but" to "however". *JPN501: So you must fight not only the enemy but also yourself who feel awful, tired, sad, pain and so on in the BUDO game. %NTV: This means, in budo, you must fight not only the enemy but also yourself, even if you feel awful, tired, sad, in pain, and so on. %COM: Avoid starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions. You can change "so" to "this means". *JPN501: You must beat weak yourself. %NTV: NG %COM: *JPN501: If you can beat him, you would feel how much you could grow. %NTV: If you can beat the enemy, you can feel how much you can grow. %COM: It's not clear who "him" refers to. *JPN501: Then, you can thank yourself for your efforts. %NTV: OK %COM: %par: *JPN501: BUDO can make your body strong. %NTV: Budo can make your body strong. %COM: *JPN501: This is the same good point which other sports give. %NTV: This is the same good point that other sports give. %COM: Use "that", not "which", with restrictive clauses. *JPN501: But BUDO must give you many other good points, for example, mental strong, taught from "REI". %NTV: However, because of rei, budo provides many additional good points, such as mental strength. %COM: *JPN501: So, today, many people plays and loves BUDO around the world. %NTV: This is why, today, many people play and love budo around the world. %COM: *JPN501: We Japanese should be proud of and teach more many people around the world about this traditional sports "BUDO". %NTV: We Japanese should be proud of and teach many more people around the world about our traditional sports, budo. %COM: @End }}